Sunday, January 11, 2015

end of the year

Just a few last words about the year before we move on. An end for the blog book.
1. Sleep training: is awesome.  I had known for a while that I needed to help Maris learn to soothe herself back to sleep.  She was waking up multiple times per night, and napping okay, but I would have to hold her for at least 10 minutes to get her to fall asleep, and then sometimes she would wake up as soon as I laid her down.  She would often fall asleep while eating, but then she wouldn't for sure stay asleep when I laid her down.  So it was time to do something about it, but I didn't want to let her cry.  Fortunately I talked to the doctor at her 6 month appointment, and he gave me a plan.  I was still not excited to try it, but he assured me that as long as I didn't let her cry for more than 10 minutes at a time, I wasn't hurting her.  He also said that babies cry to let off steam and settle down enough to sleep-- it actually may be good for them.  And it was true that she was often crying while I was singing her to sleep anyway.  SO I decided to try the sleep training.  The first time was awful- she cried for the full 10 minutes, then I went in and touched her face and held her hand and sang to her and she calmed right down.  But then when I left she cried again for about 3 more minutes before going to sleep. When I checked on her a couple of minutes later she was breathing so sadly, the post-cry "huh-huh-huh-HUH" and it was heartbreaking!  BUT the second time I put her down to sleep she only cried for a couple of minutes!  SO that was encouraging.  The whole first week was hard though; she cried the full 10 minutes probably 5 or 6 times.  But more and more she would only cry for 7 or 8 minutes, then 3 or 4, and after a week and a half she was down to crying for like 20 seconds, or even not crying at all because she just knows when I put on that blanket, turn on the white noisemaker, and start singing a song, it's time for sleeping!  Probably I've gotten better at recognizing when she's really tired enough to start the process.  That was probably the hardest part-- me waffling when she had been crying for a few minutes. "maybe she's not really tired" "I didn't check her diaper" etc.  But I started just setting my timer and working hard getting something done so I wouldn't worry about her, and it WORKED.  She learned that she can go to sleep by herself.  And super exciting, she now sleeps through the night!!!! From about 9 pm to 5 am.  It is AMAZING.  And so worth the few painful days of training.  I'm sure she did think I was abandoning her at first, but now she just knows it's time to sleep and I'll be there when she wakes up and everything will be okay.  A hard but important lesson for a baby to learn.  I'm so glad it went so well, now I can actually SLEEP!
2. Sickness is not awesome!  Having a stomach bug ravage your family one week and the flu the next, even though you got the flu shot, is lame.  Apparently we got a mild version of the flu though-- we only had fevers for about 2 days instead of 5.  But that was bad enough for poor little Maris and Owen!  And me! The first night those 2 were sick I was really stupid and took care of them myself without waking up Eric. So I was up with Owen every hour and Maris 3 times and then she came into bed with us because she wouldn't sleep without being held (this was only because of her sickness-- the sleep training came back as soon as her fever was gone, whew!).  And then the next day I got the fever and was so exhausted I thought I would die!  So the next night Eric was in charge of Owen and I got Maris.  Then it was our anniversary and we 3 were still sick and Melissa and Jonathan were visiting and I felt bad we didn't even DO anything (they were a fun distraction from the sickness though!!) but I had a cool reflective moment that I posted on facebook:
Happy late anniversary to my Eric. A few days ago was our 11th anniversary, and early that morning we could be found on the couch watching Planes, each with a sick kid in our arms. I was sick too, but even as I realized that our plans for the day were going down the drain, I couldn't help but smile. Because our situation perfectly represented life and true love to me. We are in the thick of it with 4 young kids, and every day we can choose to be disappointed, frustrated, and annoyed; or we can make the best of it and enjoy this crazy time in our lives. I'm so grateful for every sick day, busy day, awful day, and super fun day I get to spend with him! Life is good.
And it's true!  Life is good.
3. Successful Anti-hitting Campaign
A few weeks ago we realized that something needed to change.  A certain child who shall remain nameless was constantly hitting, pushing, kicking, pulling hair, and other mean and hurtful things.  Usually we just made the child say sorry, and occasionally gave time-outs.  But obviously those punishments were not working.  So we had the inspired idea to give the kids each 15 minutes of free screen time per day (a reward), and each time they hurt someone they get 5 minutes taken away.  And it has worked REALLY well!  It was hard at first though, because the first 7 or so times Whitney got screen time taken away she threw GIANT fits that showed her skill at blaming, manipulating, begging, and acting.  But we held firm, and the fits have gotten shorter at least!  And she hardly ever gets screen time taken away anymore because she is not hitting anymore!  This showed me that she can control herself and I am proud of her.  But it also showed me that violence was not the only problem we have; there are plenty of others.  I am happy that we have a more peaceful and kind home though! We have taken a huge step in the right direction.  It's funny/sad though because Owen is probably the one who gets his screen time taken away the most often; he has the bad habit of hitting Whitney, I wonder where that came from?? :)  But since he's still little I let him earn his screen time back because he's still learning.  And he's such a good little helper all the time and usually very sweet. :)  And I don't think Katelyn has ever gotten screen time taken away, she is such a non-violent person.
And there you have it.  The end of a good year.  2015 is going to be great!!


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